Tough Old Broads and Talking Dogs
by imjustaguy
Summary: BtVSThe Life and Times of Juniper Lee Buffy visits Orchid Bay to find the next person on her list of debtors OneShot Humor 5 in the Collection Work Series


Disclaimer: I do not own either BtVS or The Life and Times of Juniper Lee and I am making no monetary gain from the publication of this story.

Spoilers/Timeline

BtVS: Post Chosen

Juniper Lee: None really. Call it season two sometime.

This is the fifth in my Collection Work series.

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Tough Old Broads and Talking Dogs

"Ok," Buffy said. "That's something a girl doesn't see everyday."

"What?" the cab driver asked.

"Nothing," Buffy replied from the backseat. "Just talking to myself."

Just down the street from her Buffy kept an eye on a bus stop where standing right behind a half dozen normal people were two rather large purple and orange blobs with legs, arms and a single eye each.

Well, technically speaking, a Slayer did see monsters everyday, what threw Buffy off was that the monsters were out in broad daylight and that the people seemed completely oblivious to their presence. Classic Hellmouth syndrome taken to the nth degree.

Giles had given her the heads up on Orchid Bay. The city, like Sunnydale, sat on a dimensional hotspot linking Earth to a whole bunch of other dimensions. A powerful mystical field covered the city preventing anyone not touched by magic to be completely blind to the monsters in their midst.

He was also quick to stress that, unlike Sunnydale, the vast majority of the entities living in Orchid Bay were benign, even friendly. The city also had a guardian, someone called the Tay something or other, who dealt with any monsters that got out of line.

Buffy watched the bus pull up. The people entered the bus while the monsters hopped on top. The bus drove off like it was an everyday occurrence. Which around here, it probably was.

Zipping through the streets Buffy actually started to get use to seeing the occasional odd creature. Like Giles said, they seemed and acted harmless. It even looked like a few of them were doing repairs like cleaning the streets, filling in potholes and such. The town gave off a much nicer vibe than good old Sunnyhell.

If it wasn't for the fact that she was here to collect money for the Council Buffy might actually consider this a nice change of pace from the Hellmouth.

---

Nice house, Buffy thought as the cab drove away. Three stories, big yard, the sitting on the edge of a cliff thing was a little disconcerting but it made for a great view. According to Giles' directions, the very place she was looking for.

As she approached the house Buffy saw an old woman tending to a small garden. She was short (even shorter than Buffy) and pleasantly plump.

She looked up just as Buffy opened the gate.

"Hello there," she said with a side smile. "How can I help you?"

"Hi," Buffy said. "My name's Buffy Summers. I'm looking for a …" she glimpsed down at a piece of paper, "he's got to be kidding. I'm looking for a Monroe Connery Boyd Carlyle McGregor Scott V. Is he here?"

"You're looking for Monroe?" the woman said. She quickly rose from her garden and walked up to Buffy. The smile disappeared and her voice took on a more serious edge. "What for?"

According to Giles, the people living here were in the know. "I'm here on business with the Watchers Council."

"Those stuck up British jerks," the woman spat.

"They were that," Buffy replied.

"Were?" the woman said.

"A few months ago they got themselves blown up," Buffy explained. "The Council is under new management now."

"And who would that be?" the woman asked.

"My friends and I," Buffy replied.

The woman studied Buffy for a moment, sizing her up. "You're the Slayer aren't you?" the woman said a degree of skepticism in her voice.

"Yep," Buffy said.

The woman smiled. "If you're her you won't mind a quick sparring match."

With that the woman threw a punch at Buffy with a speed rivaling most master vampires. Buffy blocked it, barely, and fell back towards the open grass of the yard to give herself more room to maneuver.

The woman launched a flying roundhouse kick. Buffy docked under it and rolled behind the old woman. After eight years as the Slayer, Buffy wasn't put off much by appearance once a fight started. She lashed out with her foot.

The woman blocked the blow with but fell back a little. Buffy noted the big smile on her face. She pulled away.

"Satisfied," Buffy said.

"You are the Slayer!" she said with genuine warmth. "It must be close to twenty years since the last time I met a Slayer. Another round?"

Buffy smiled and dropped back into a fighting stance.

"So what's your name?" Buffy asked.

"Jasmine Lee," Jasmine replied. "You've heard of me?"

"Sorry, no," Buffy replied blocking two quick jabs from Jasmine and answering with a couple of her own. "I take it you're the Tay Shawn See that Giles was telling me about?"

"Te Xuan Ze," Jasmine said circling Buffy. "And I'm not anymore. I'm retired now." She came straight at Buffy.

"You get to retire?" Buffy was surprised. She blocked Jasmine's attack and came back with a quick combo of her own that pushed the older woman back and the two circled each other for a moment.

This time Buffy initiated the action coming at Jasmine from the side. It felt like a sparring sessions with one of the baby-slays. Both women were pulling their punches just having a little fun and feeling each other out. This wasn't a real fight.

"You're good," Jasmine noted.

"After eight years I ought to be. You're pretty good yourself." Buffy said as she tried a quick kick to Jasmine's side.

Jasmine blocked Buffy's kick.then pulled back to catch her breath. Buffy stepped back as well, thinking how much she would have loved sparring with Jasmine in her prime. The only person who could really give her a serious workout anymore was Faith

Jasmine spoke. "So what business does the Slayer have with Monroe?"

"It's about the Orb of Too 'a Hanami," Buffy answered.

"Needed that to banish a Bora'ka demon," Jasmine said. "He got that from the Council?"

"A couple of months before the Council went boom," Buffy said.

"Explains why you've taken so long to get here," Jasmine replied. "One more round?"

Buffy nodded, she had a pretty good measure of Jasmine now. "Sure."

Jasmine whirled in with a rapid combo of punches and kicks. Buffy blocked the blows and gradually fell back waiting for her moment. Both women were smiling.

Jasmine's next flurry of attacks was just a little slower than the first. Buffy took advantage of the opening. Parrying one of Jasmine's punches Buffy pushed forward and landed a 'light' blow on the older woman's chest.

Jasmine landed on her back. She looked up and gave Buffy a smile and nod.

Just as Buffy reached down to help Jasmine up she heard a loud yell.

"AH-MAH!!!!"

Buffy whirled around just in time to see a girl (looked to be about eleven or twelve) come charging at her with near blinding speed. The red streak in her hair stood out starkly against the girl's long dark tresses.

"JUNE!!!!" Jasmine shouted. "WAIT!!!"

It didn't register on the girl. June took a flying leap directly at Buffy.

Buffy took the hit and flew back a good fifteen feet. The girl was strong.

"Nobody hurts my Ah-Mah!!" June shouted.

Bouncing back to her feet Buffy tried to calm the situation, "I don't want a fight …"

"Than you shouldn't mess with the Te Xuan Ze," June charged in again with a loud war cry.

Buffy was blocking the blows and fell back, deliberately not taking the offense. This June is good, she thought. At least as fast as a Slayer and judging by that first kick possibly even stronger. But she was young and reckless (kind of like I use to be, Buffy thought).

"You're going down blondie!" June yelled.

"June! I'm alright!" Jasmine yelled as she was getting up. "You don't have …"

But June still wasn't listening. She kept pressing the attack on Buffy who kept playing strict defense.

Blocking the blows took its toll on the Slayer though and Buffy could see that the girl was good enough and strong enough that she'd eventually break through her defenses and then things might get serious.

Time to bring this to a close Buffy thought.

June did another flying roundhouse kick. This time Buffy was ready. In the air June was wide open. Buffy caught June's ankle as it spun towards her then using June's own momentum yanked the younger girl around and dropped her on the ground.

Landing on her stomach June tried to get up but the woman kept a hold of her leg. She used that as leverage to pin June to the ground.

"The jumping thing looks cool," Buffy said. "But it rarely helps."

"You can let her up Buffy," Jasmine instructed.

Buffy released her hold, stood up and stepped back.

June immediately jumped up and dropped into a fighting stance.

"June!!" Jasmine snapped. "Stop! She's a friend."

"But she attacked you," June said.

"We were just sparring," Jasmine explained. "Trust me if Buffy was serious she wouldn't have been pulling her punches."

"You were pulling your punches?" June asked.

"Yeah," Buffy said. "But you weren't," she stretched her arms over her head. "You're strong. A couple of these bruises are going to take more than day to heal."

"Who are you?" June demanded.

"Aye, I'd like to know that as well," said someone with a think Irish accent.

Buffy looked around trying to place the voice and saw a small dog standing a few feet away.

"You heard me lassie," the dog said. "Who are you?"

"Is the dog talking to me?" Buffy asked.

"Yes," Jasmine said. "He's annoying but you'll get use to him."

"I most certainly am not annoying!" the dog shouted at Jasmine and then turned to Buffy. "So, what's it too ya' lassie?"

"I'm pretty certain you're my first talking dog," Buffy said. "There was that cat thing last year. And of course werewolves, but they're not really dogs and they don't talk when they're werewolves. At least I've never heard them try."

"Well I'm very happy to hear that lassie," the dog interrupted. "Now answer the bloody question! Who are you?"

Jasmine spoke first. "Allow me to do the introductions. Juniper Lee, Te Xuan Ze, Monroe meet Buffy Summers, Vampire Slayer. Buffy and I were just having a little sparring session."

"Aye then, The Slayer," Monroe said with a measure of respect. "It's been a while since a Slayer last came to Orchid Bay."

"What's a Slayer?" June asked

"Like you June, Buffy is a mystical warrior," Jasmine explained. "Chosen to battle the forces of darkness."

"Oh," June replied. "Cool, so you're like me. A Protector."

Buffy nodded. "Yep, eight years now."

"Eight years?" June said. "Wow, I've only been doing this for about a year."

"How old are you?" Buffy asked.

"Eleven, almost twelve" June answered matter-of-factly.

"Eleven," Buffy's jaw dropped. "Stupid Powers at least waited until I was fifteen before they screwed my life up."

"For some reason the power skipped a generation," Jasmine explained. "Her father was supposed to have been called but wasn't. Usually a Te Xuan Ze isn't called until they are grown."

"Aye," Monroe added. "Six hundred years now I've been acting as a guide, June here is the youngest Te Xuan Ze I've ever encountered. So what dark force draws the Slayer to Orchid Bay?"

"Oh, yeah," Buffy said. "No dark forces actually. Unless you consider cash to be a dark force. And I suppose some people do. Wait a second. Did Jasmine say your name was Monroe?"

"Aye," Monroe answered.

"As in Monroe Connery Boyd Carlyle McGregor Scott V?"

"Aye."

"What do you want with Monroe?" June demanded.

"I don't believe this," Buffy said. "Xander is going to be so jealous that I actually got to say this for real."

"Say what?" June asked.

Buffy smiled. "Your dog owes me money."

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A/N – I'm surprised there aren't more Buffy/Juniper crossover fics out there. Given the similarities between the two shows I would have thought there would be more.


End file.
